Y’know who else fluffs with fork?
I forgot that one of the issues with high-waisted pants is the giant faux-rection when you sit down. I am SO happy to see you this morning.
Whenever I pick up a soda on the way back from the bathroom, I think, “I’m just making more pee.”
How come no one ever talks about MIHFs? Man, I would HATE to fuck that mom!
George Dubya is totally a FPIHF.
Don’t pretend you don’t know how to capitalize Starbucks, iPhone.
In my kitchen, if it can’t be done with tongs or a cleaver, then I’m not interested.