November 2010
71 posts
“The Cloud Prayer” - A.C. Newman
A Half-Act Social Play (with a tip of the Mac to...
Dramatis Personae:
Facebook (played by Kathy Bates)
Twitter (played by a world-weary Bukowski, a thin line of gruel issuing forth)
Tumblr (played by Bukowski’s bartender)
Foursquare (in hoodie and glasses)
Last.fm (also in hoodie and glasses)
Flickr (laboring under the weight of his new SLR)
My Space (an old acid head, trapped in a loop of primary-colored gifs, slouched in his...
Why Jerry Maguire and Say Anything suck
The conclusion of the stories comes when the beloved, obsessed-over, jerk character shrugs and says, “Okay. You can love me.” The end? Bullshit.
This one goes out to my dear, homicidal friend,...
Fill in the blank: I don't smoke when I...
Okay, I’ll be sleeping.
“Care of Cell 44” - The Zombies
...
Associations
I haz them.
When you’re getting a divorce, very small bits of contact from mutual borderline friends are meaningful. A LinkedIn request. A “like” on a Facebook photo. People are not comfortable with divorce. They don’t know who you are as a single person. They’re used to seeing you lean on each other. Lean on them, and they feel they’re betraying the other person in the...
Thanks for the ups, kids.
You make me feel all special and oogy.
I am writer; watch me (s)tumble.
So, I started writing again, three or four months ago, on Tumblr — under a different name and most of it was a bunch of crap that I took down and that is currently sitting in a rambly, awful, stream-of-consciousness doc file on my backup drive. (And really, I used to be good at this. What happened?) I hadn’t written in a long time. I’d almost forgotten how. Like...
Quitting smoking is like saying goodbye to the...
Every ashtray will sound like five hundred million little bells.
“Loves Me Like a Rock” - Paul Simon
...
Turns out I have (a variation of) a sunny...
I woke up this morning with a little bit of a sore throat and kinda sniffly. Glenda (my friend whose guest room I’m staying in) alluded to my late night cigarette breaks in the cold probably not helping. Fair enough. Then I boldly went outside for my morning cigarette, hoping, secretly, to egg this illness on so it’d put me in bed for a few days. Because that’s how I’d quit...
#hashtagssometimesremindmeofeecummings...
In fact, they even screw up cummings. Witness:
If a #cheerfullest #elephantangelchild should sit…sunning his #penguinsoul in the glow…
Not the same, is it?
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Thanks, #everythinginthesky! That’s a very interesting parallel that I might comment on at length if I weren’t distracted by the fact that I don’t know how to #leavefuckingnotes...
I'm 39, and I've found my Voice.
I’ll take it.
We do that little touch-dance, iPhone.
I touch too long, and you think I want to cut ‘n’ paste, when really I’m just trying to get into typing mode…
I got my cloud calendar contributor copies in the...
They misspelled “Filipino”, milquetoasted my prose, deleted my funniest (closing!) line, and didn’t put my website on there as they’d promised. Gift Horse’s Mouth, I’m looking right at you. You’re in need of orthodontia.
Making a list of reasons to move to Mexico.
Between “surfing” and “food” is “the possibility of hanging out with Raoul Julia’s relatives.”
"Nothing great was ever achieved without...
-Emerson
(I know: I’m one fuckin’ lame-ass broad.)
